Dear Butt,
Would you please quit dragging? Don't make me kick you...
Love, Me
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Ridin' the Coaster
Have you ever had one of those moments where you have your hands thrown up in the air, you're laughing hard through a wide-open mouth, you're feeling the thrill of the ride and suddenly realize you're the only one? As a very little girl I remember watching D climb onto "White Lightning", a doozy of a rollercoaster at Carowinds. I remember he was grinning when he went up and had white knuckles when he came down. I remember being so disappointed I was too little to go too. Since then I have never missed an opportunity to ride a rollercoaster. They don't come around as often as I'd like, so I try to take full advantage when they do. Fortunately, my life is often just like a rollercoaster (as is everyone's). Just when I think I'm going left I'm slung hard to the right. Just when I think I'm on top of the world I go plumeting at cheek-flapping speed, oftentimes spiraling, down the other side. Man I love rollercoasters!
I think part of the reason I have always been able to let go and enjoy the ride without fear is the trust I have. I always trusted D to catch me when he'd throw me in the air. I always trusted him to land the motorcycle safely when he'd pop wheelies across the road with me when I was little. I trusted that he'd take care of business when that one boy was fool enough to come knock on my door after I'd just run in the house and said "I don't want to see him!" ("Uh, uh, uh, Sir, is Kelly home?" "Yep." "Can I see her?" "Nope.".....hahaha I love that memory!) To this day, he has never, ever, ever let me down. I always trusted Honey would take care of me no matter what, I have always known her softest hands in the world would be there to soothe me when I don't feel so good. I have always trusted that when no one else will listen to, or laugh with me she'll always be the exception to the rule. I trust that Clint will always make me die laughing when I least expect it, will always be an incredible provider, and I will always find my safe haven, my home, my center of gravity in his hugs. And most of all, I have always trusted that God will take care of me. No matter what. I just don't worry. Three weeks ago when I found the lump in my neck and began the ride through bloodwork, ultrasound, CT, biopsy and diagnosis (thyroid cancer) I was comforted along the way and since with a deep, bottomless well of assurance that no matter what, I'm going to be okay. I just wish everyone else could feel that constant wave of peace and assurance I am being provided with on an hourly and daily basis, and be able to experience this ride without fear as I am. I feel so BLESSED! As Dr. Studtman apologetically described the scar I will be left with on my neck when he rips that sucker OUT, I was able to calmly and sincerely tell him I'm just not worried about it. I get to have a reminder every day of what a gift I have been given. And I get to make up the coolest stories about how I got it! I do believe that what goes around comes around...I have always known that I'm a pain in the neck, I just didn't realize how much of one I've been! Ha!
It has been terribly hard to not be annoyed with "sympathy" looks and somber voices, but I'm just trying to remember some dang good advice I was given last week....Just because I'm okay with this, doesn't mean other people aren't having an "aha" moment themselves. Thanks Cletus. I needed that. One small request? Hurry up with the "Aha" and get back to dying laughing with me please. Now, who'll give me a "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE"?
I think part of the reason I have always been able to let go and enjoy the ride without fear is the trust I have. I always trusted D to catch me when he'd throw me in the air. I always trusted him to land the motorcycle safely when he'd pop wheelies across the road with me when I was little. I trusted that he'd take care of business when that one boy was fool enough to come knock on my door after I'd just run in the house and said "I don't want to see him!" ("Uh, uh, uh, Sir, is Kelly home?" "Yep." "Can I see her?" "Nope.".....hahaha I love that memory!) To this day, he has never, ever, ever let me down. I always trusted Honey would take care of me no matter what, I have always known her softest hands in the world would be there to soothe me when I don't feel so good. I have always trusted that when no one else will listen to, or laugh with me she'll always be the exception to the rule. I trust that Clint will always make me die laughing when I least expect it, will always be an incredible provider, and I will always find my safe haven, my home, my center of gravity in his hugs. And most of all, I have always trusted that God will take care of me. No matter what. I just don't worry. Three weeks ago when I found the lump in my neck and began the ride through bloodwork, ultrasound, CT, biopsy and diagnosis (thyroid cancer) I was comforted along the way and since with a deep, bottomless well of assurance that no matter what, I'm going to be okay. I just wish everyone else could feel that constant wave of peace and assurance I am being provided with on an hourly and daily basis, and be able to experience this ride without fear as I am. I feel so BLESSED! As Dr. Studtman apologetically described the scar I will be left with on my neck when he rips that sucker OUT, I was able to calmly and sincerely tell him I'm just not worried about it. I get to have a reminder every day of what a gift I have been given. And I get to make up the coolest stories about how I got it! I do believe that what goes around comes around...I have always known that I'm a pain in the neck, I just didn't realize how much of one I've been! Ha!
It has been terribly hard to not be annoyed with "sympathy" looks and somber voices, but I'm just trying to remember some dang good advice I was given last week....Just because I'm okay with this, doesn't mean other people aren't having an "aha" moment themselves. Thanks Cletus. I needed that. One small request? Hurry up with the "Aha" and get back to dying laughing with me please. Now, who'll give me a "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE"?
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